Motivation

I'm taking courses in History Education at UVU because I truly want to become a teacher. I'll admit there are times that I feel like giving up but then I remind myself why I'm here. I started out my college experience majoring in Business Administration. One Accounting class and I knew that business was not for me. Still, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I transferred schools and had marked my major as General Education until I figured it out. For some reason, however, I kept getting letters about the History Education program. Finally I decided to take a history class and decided that was what I wanted to do.
I decided to become a teacher while working at a place that helped people get their GEDs. Most of our clients were young women who had dropped out of high school because they'd gotten pregnant. So many of them were suffering from learned helplessness and truly thought that failure was just a part of them. This experience made me want to help more people. I know the importance of having a support system, someone who pushes you to do your best. I also know that that person can be a teacher.
I'm motivated when I feel like I'm accomplishing something. I'm also motivated when it's something I enjoy and something I know I can do. One of the best feelings is getting through something that was challenging. That feeling is often what motivates me to continue. I have a strong support system and knowing they are behind me one hundred percent has helped keep me motivated my entire life.
I think I succeed because of the self-worth theory. I often do things to prove to myself that I can do it. My parents always instilled in me the mindset that if I wanted to do something I could accomplish it. I think that is a large part in any of my successes. I also believe in the growth mindset and I enjoy learning. I like being knowledgable on a subject.
However, I do experience some debilitating anxiety. There are many times that I feel completely overwhelmed and it keeps me from being productive. As we learned in class, girls are more likely to have an internal locus of failure and I believe this is very true. Whenever I fail I blame myself even if there were other contributing factors to the situation. I think this a large part of why I have some debilitating anxiety because if I don't do well I blame myself.
One of my goals is performance based and the other is mastery based. There are many times that I focus on the performance orientation because I'm more worried that others will think I am competent. I need to focus more on mastering the skills needed to become a great teacher. I need to learn that failure isn't always a bad thing as long as I learn from the experience. I also need to learn that everything won't always be perfect and that everything won't always be in my control.